Having said that, I'm young and my gift to the world-- Yogasage-- is in it's infancy stage. Just being hatched, I am slowly crawling out of my shell, and I feel very vulnerable. I feel so exposed. I look at what I do as so incredible revolutionary, that the very thought of really telling people what's going on in my work feels taboo. I feel absolutely blocked to being transparent with what I do.
It feels illegal, and yet it brings incredible healing power to those I have the blessing to work with. The classes and workshops I teach, I know, change the lives of those I meet. To this day, I've only met one person who didn't like my style of bodywork. That's a pretty good track record, if you ask me!
So, I write, knowing that I don't feel ready nor confident to promote myself. I feel optimistic that there will be a day when I will have the confidence, the credentials, the money, the license, the education, the conviction and the unwavering faith to continue what I do. Now, I pray for patience, and I work on the art of expression.
I'm grateful to be writing again, and revisiting this blog that I set up four years ago-- when I first came to the Big Island. I have no intention of anyone else every ready this-- and so the question becomes, "than why don't you just write on your journal?" Well, this feels like a very different practice to me. It's also work my confidence because I AM putting my words and my energy out of the internet. It is PUBLISHED and there is a chance that other people will ready this. So, to me, it is a whole different energy than writing in a journal.
My goal is to one day reach the level of self-confidence and self-approval where I see my writing as valuable. I must first believe that it is worth writing and reading before anyone else can be drawn to me and my work. I cannot emphasize this enough!
If I don't believe in myself and if I don't affirm who I am and how talented I am, than I naturally attract the opposite- those who see me as worthless. The only one to blame is me. I must first see value in myself. Then, one day, when I look at my writing, I will be able to discern when the feeling shifts from a dull, numb place of "I'm not all that great" to "Wow... this is fantastic! I'd love people out there in the world to know about me".
But then, there's a lot of fish in the sea. I don't expect, and I think it would be insane to expect that everyone would like. Once I can realize there is actually a "target market" of people that would be potentially interested in what I do and who I am, than I can expect the criticism and I can expect the praise. The question is: "How do I just get in touch with those like minded people that would enjoy my writing?"
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